It’s no surprise to y’all here on the blog, to those that follow on FaceBook, certainly those who follow on Twitter, and my email readers that I’ve been more quiet than usual. I suppose it’s time to explain a bit more in detail rather than a bit here and there.
My surgiversary has come and gone. That was just another day on my calendar and it is simply a reaffirmation that I am just as fucked up today as I was when I was fat — but just in a different fashion.
Let me explain a bit.
It’s no secret that I’m a bit quiet in general. I have trust issues, I’m cynical, and I’m not really hugely out-going. Being “out-there” in the community has brought these issues out a bit more-so for me. This blog was never meant to be a psychological exploration of my self, of why I became fat, why I am who I am inside, etc.
This blog was designed to go through the supplements post-op. Perhaps a few of the psychological issues I see in the community. Self-advocacy and teaching our professionals to help us. Raising kids in a post-op environment.
But this was never to be my journal.
I’m not knocking those who choose to use their blog as a journey of introspection. Many get help from those blogs. I’m not one of them. I can’t write my feelings out for potential strangers to read my innermost thoughts and pick them apart in minute detail.
This goes back to aforementioned trust and cynacism issues. So even writing this? Difficult.
Morning.
I’m procrastinating the dreaded task of deciding what to wear on my first day to class (OMG!) so I thought I’d share a short bit of my travels while Beth is in the shower.
I left late on Saturday to come down to Florida so I could break the drive up (9 hours) into two days, but also to spend some time with Magnus on his birthday. June is a busy month for us.. Sunday the 5th we celebrated Sweden’s Flag Day (a day early) in Raleigh, I had to pack and get ready for this trip, Magnus’ birthday was the 11th, this trip is the 13th and 14th, I head home on the 15th, my daughter’s birthday (she’s 5! how is that possible?) is on Friday, then on Saturday morning the 18th, we head to Sweden for 3 weeks (so blogging may be.. interesting.. I’m being threatened with loss of a computer.. and lack of work.. we’ll see…)
Integrity.. tarnished, but there.
There is a reason I don’t ever want to be a “professional” post-op.
I don’t want to have to sacrifice my integrity in order to further my career.
We BBG’s – we all have our character traits:
- Beth is honest to a fault. In many cases, she is so honest, people hate her for it. They hate the fact that she knows so much, is willing to be so open about her own life, and feels others should be as well.
- Kaitlin is the best support a girl could hope for. You have Kaitlin on your side and you gain a wealth of knowledge as deep and wide as the day is long. There is a reason she is my number one confidant, and my best friend.
- Michelle is loyal to her friends and family, and will defend them with her last breath even without being asked of it. She also believes everyone else should do the same and is betrayed by those who feel differently.
- And me? I feel everyone should have the same level of integrity that I do.. which is fairly high admittedly. I hold myself accountable for a great deal and feel everyone elses’ moral compass should be the same direction as mine. I’ll defend my friends and family because it’s the right thing to do, but I’ll also tell them when I think they are wrong because I use my intellect.
So awhile ago, Nik over at Bariatric Foodie asked a bunch of us to get together and post our food for a day to give post-ops a “realistic” view of what we eat at various stages of our surgery. I’m an open book anyway, so I don’t really care one way or another, except that it’s a fairly boring routine.
And then I figured out that eating? Kills my head. So now I kinda shy away from food. Welcome to long-term post-op life.
I’m not the only one doing this – there is a group of us. Please feel free to check out their blogs. I’m sure they are more “normal” than I am, especially right now given my dislike of solids.
- Nik from Bariatric Foodie
- Michelle from The World According to Eggface
- Rob of Former Fat Dudes
- Andrea from WLS Vitagarten
- Pam from Journey to a Healthier Me
- Tom of Beariatric
- Beth at Melting Mama
I’ll be adding to this post through the day, so keep checking back. I also have a ton of other work to do, so you may also see some other things come across as well.
The Obesity Online Blogger Group
I’m back.
Sorta.
Well. I’ve been back from NYC for a full week now, but have been deep in a hole, mostly offline, trying to finish the manuscript of the 2nd edition Labtracker that I’ve not had time to blog, breathe, sleep.. well, much of anything except subsist off coffee and Diet Mountain Dew (Voltage, for those of you taking notes). I’m not quite done, but enough so that I can see light and I am finally convinced that it is the end of the tunnel and not a train about to smack me into oblivion.
So here I am with my wrap-up of the trip to NYC that I took.
Key note here — and please forgive me for not getting the exact text right but I really am tired — My trip was paid almost completely in full by the kind folks at Ethicon Endo-Surgery (EES) and arranged by the great ladies (and guys? were there guys?) at Porter Novelli, to meet with the EES folks and the Obesity Action Coalition (OAC) — a cause that is near and dear to my heart. Hotel for one night (the BBG gals covered one night on our own to see the town — first time in NY, had to see it!), airfare, car service, and a few meals were covered in full. So a huge thanks goes to these guys for this much needed vacat… err.. retre… err.. conference. Yeah. I think that’s the official word we’re using. We copacetic here? Got it? Good.
So yeah, I’m probably the last person to put my thoughts down. And some of that was because I was somewhat incoherent at times (I was speaking in citations at one point.. I have the emails to prove it). Some of it was due to simply to stress for the book. Some of it was unsure where, exactly, Andrea stood on a few things and needed some time to put words to thought. And, well, some of it was sheer jaw-dropping “what the holy hell are y’all doing?”
This is going to be long. It will include my overall trip-thoughts, ideas along the way, photos, etc. Think of it as a virtual journal (which, really, is what blogs were, originally, rather than places to get vitamin information from) as I meander through my memories of the trip, throw along some photos, pop up some thoughts and questions along the way, then really get into some discussion.
Get your Click out, folks.
